Outside Of The Center Square, Paul Lynde’s Life Was No Laughing Matter

“According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?” “Point and laugh.” This gem was just one of Paul Lynde’s classic center square one-liners, and like most of his best gags, it suggestively pushed the boundaries of the day. Audiences loved Lynde’s bawdy persona... but in reality, he was hiding deep unhappiness and an unnerving dark side.

Hollywood Squares

While it may seem preposterous that anyone would be unaware of Hollywood Squares, we’ll give a brief synopsis for the uninitiated. A game show institution, it enjoyed three different incarnations, which aired between 1966 and 2004. Inside a three-by-three table of cubes, nine celebrities helped a pair of contestants play a game of tic-tac-toe.

The center square

The real selling point of the show often wasn’t the game, though. Rather, it was a showcase for the celebrities to deliver hilarious zingers in response to the contestants’ questions. And no famous face was better at this than Lynde, who was a regular on the show — in the center square, no less — from 1968 to 1981. 

Lynde’s particular brand of snark

For five days of the week, Lynde made America laugh with his unique wit. His answers were whip-smart and often full of innuendo that was seldom heard elsewhere on TV at the time. With his trademark snigger and distinctive voice, he was like a mischievous uncle who delivered rapid-fire risqué jokes at the family dinner table.

His best zingers

Don’t just take our word for it, though — get a load of some of his best responses. When asked, “What unusual thing do you do if you have something called, ‘The gift of tongues?’” he shot back, “I wouldn’t tell the grand jury. Why should I tell you?” That one was a showstopper.